He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
