I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
