its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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