Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize