I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
