We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
