Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
