I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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