the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
