There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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