I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
