if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
