My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
