Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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