so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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