Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
