Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
