So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
