erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
