Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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