rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she peed on how many people?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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