i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
