i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
