just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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