Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
