My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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