he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
