You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
