So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
