I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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