so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
