John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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