the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
