Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
