Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
