You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
