Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
