whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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