too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize