at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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