It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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