i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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