so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
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