apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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