check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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