And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
