70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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