just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
