i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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