does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
