I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I forget how to act sober
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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