If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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