You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
