Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
