guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
