You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
