either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize