I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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