whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
