she was so not down for the gang bang
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So vagazzling was a success
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
