your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
