Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
