operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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