I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
